I just did something that makes me feel a little like a crazy person, like I’m a little unhinged from reality…I posted before and after pictures on my Stay at Home Fit Facebook page.
This was hard for many reasons- I hate pictures of myself, always have. I just hate them- I’m not very photogenic, they make me more self-conscious, blah blah blah. All of this coaching stuff has gotten me to confront my discomfort for sure. Sweaty selfies are still painful, but I know they’re important. They hold me accountable. People who are supporting me (and maybe whom I’m motivating) might be motivated by actually seeing me going through the motions. So I get it and that’s why I do it, and I think- you know what? It’s probably really good for me too.
Half-naked pictures though in the dead of winter? Ugh. Takes it to a whole new level. But I felt like I owed it to some people to share my progress. There’s one person in particular who is in my head- she’s encouraged me, and her comments have inspired me too- inspired me to take better care of myself- eat better, workout harder, really commit to what I’m doing. I felt like I owed it to her to show her my physical progress. If I saw someone post on and off for 8 weeks about this great new program, when it was over I’d want some kind of conclusion I think. Like, “So? What happened?”
Well, this is what happened…
I have mixed feelings to be honest. And it’s hard to share some of it- I feel vulnerable. I also want to be positive and have a good attitude, but part of me is just sick of my damn belly. Yes, I love my belly- it was home to 4 beautiful children, it’s mine, it’s healthy, I’m strong and all that. All that is true. And I think the last 3 years have been a turning point in my health and fitness because of a change of mindset- I went from wanting to be skinny to wanting to be strong and fit. I am also a thousand times more confident than I’ve ever been, at any time in my life. All that said, it kinda sucks when you work out consistently and eat really healthy and you still have a muffin top.
I have progressed- I am proud of my body and I feel comfortable in my own skin. I don’t dread getting dressed like I used to….I just have this trouble spot. The better part of me just wants to be patient and knows that if I keep doing what I’m doing I’ll continue to progress. I think part of the reason my middle is lagging behind the rest of me is that the belly is often the last part to go. I think it’s also because I never in my life worked my core. I have no muscle memory in there. Never having been fit or in shape means I have a lot more work to do. Also, it’s my body type. I’m an apple, if you like the whole fruit thing.
Your body is part of who you are, like it or not. For most of us, our physical selves affect our mental and emotional selves. Number one, it’s healthier to be fit, to lose weight (especially weight around our middle, like my pet), to exercise and eat healthy, of course. But feeling good about ourselves is important too. We don’t have to be skinny, or look like a supermodel, or aspire to some unrealistic airbrushed body type, but as my husband once said, “It’s hard to get out of bed when your pants don’t fit.” It’s nice to feel comfortable with your physical self, it’s nice to fit comfortably in your clothes.
Part of me was afraid to share because I feel like some people might be like, “she does all this work and looks like that? why bother?” I can’t worry about that. I can tell you I am proud of the glimmer of abs on the horizon. For the first time in my life I am seeing the beginnings of definition. I can also tell you that my body has transformed over the last 3 years- from the outside and the inside. My legs are strong and muscular, I have biceps, my upper body is strong and looks strong. I am healthier. I am no longer plagued by stomach trouble like i was almost my whole life, I feel a thousand times better, I have more energy. The most wonderful part is the mental and emotional part, though. That has meant the most to me.
Overall, I think before and after pictures are so helpful as part of your fitness journey. They are motivating and they are a better gauge of progress than the scale. That little bugger is temperamental, and we have all heard how muscle weighs more than fat and all that. I think taking “before” pictures before beginning a workout program really gets you in the right mindset, too. I know it sucks taking them. I know you feel ridiculous (and maybe like a crazy person) taking them. But I also know that they serve a useful purpose, and you might look back at them one day and feel a great sense of accomplishment.
So what next? I’m going to keep doing what I’ve been doing. I love my workouts and I love my clean eating. And after my next round of Hammer & Chisel I’m going to share some new pictures and we’ll see what happens. Either way, i’m going to focus on the positives and be kind to myself about all those things that bug me.